Unusual Chats
by carzla
Summary: [One Shot] He was sick and tired of being compared to Shiba Kaien. He was Kurosaki Ichigo. NOT Shiba Kaien. He thought he was the only one frustrated. How wrong he was...


**_Unusual Chats_**

_Disclaimer:_

_Bleach and all related characters belong to Kubo Tite. This story plays on the theory that Ichigo is Kaien's reincarnation. For those who do not know who Shiba Kaien is, feel free to hit the back button for fear of spoilers. I only own this plot, which resembles crack too. Thank you very much.

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**Full Summary:**

**One Shot He was sick and tired of being compared to Shiba Kaien. So what if they looked alike? Who cares if he really was his reincarnation? He was Kurosaki Ichigo. NOT Shiba Kaien. That was that. Nothing more, nothing less. He thought he was the only one frustrated. How wrong he was…

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Kurosaki Ichigo seriously wished that everyone would stop comparing him to Shiba Kaien. It was immensely annoying to say the least.

Sure, he did look somewhat like the late shinigami (save his hair color) and some parts of their personalities were rather similar too.

But that was as far as it went. Period.

Even if he were, by any chance, Kaien's reincarnation, they still weren't the same person! If some part of Kaien still existed in this world, Ichigo was sure the dark-haired man would feel indignant too – especially if he considered that that part of their personalities to be similar. He knew that if he were in Kaien's shoes, he'd feel that way. Hence there was a large possibility that the late shinigami would feel the same way too.

For heaven's sake! He was Kurosaki Ichigo, _not_ Shiba Kaien!

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After thinking it through, Ichigo decided it wasn't everyone who was comparing him and Kaien in an obvious manner. It was just everyone whom he didn't know on a personal level. Which meant a huge majority of the Sereitei occupants.

After the whole ruckus with the ryoka and Aizen had somewhat subsided, he had begun noticing that a good number of people were whispering about him. At first, he had no idea what it was, but he had never sought to find the real reason. He had supposed that it could've been due to what he had done in the Sereitei during the past few weeks. Well, he did cause a great deal of damage to the Court's infrastructure and sent some of the shinigamis, okay, he sent a good number of them to the 4th Division. However, he soon found out about his resemblance to Kaien through the two over-zealous 13th Division 3rd Seats, who were both extremely eager to show that they knew Kaien better than the other.

Kiyone and Sentarou had ambushed him when he was heading towards the 13th Division grounds to find Rukia. So coincidentally, it was just two days after Rukia had gone to the Shiba house to apologize to Kuukaku-san. However at that time, he had no real idea who exactly Shiba Kaien was, much less how the man looked like. He didn't even know that Shiba Kaien was the man whom Byakuya had referred to when he and Renji appeared to take Rukia back to Soul Society.

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"_Hey Ichigo!" Kiyone called as she sprang out of a tree._

"_Yo Ichigo!" Sentarou then appeared, close behind the former's heels._

Getting the feeling something was up due to the strange smiles he was getting from both shinigamis, he replied warily, "Hey… What's up?" He had seen enough of the both of them to know how crazy they could be.

_To his surprise, the duo immediately began scrutinizing him and was mumbling to each other in conspiring tones. Now, Ichigo could safely say that he was spooked. With these two clowns or mad hatters (whichever you preferred), there was no telling what they would do next. He vaguely wondered how Captain Ukitake, with such a fragile health, actually coped with the duo's antics. Of course, the duo was especially careful around their captain, which could explain why Captain Ukitake's health had not deteriorated rapidly after spending years with them assisting him._

_Finally, Sentarou spoke in a thoughtful voice, "You know, Ichigo, you look a lot like our late vice captain."_

"_Yeah! You just have a different hair color… Oh! And you frown a bit too much," Kiyone added._

_Ichigo briefly recalled Byakuya's words to Rukia about him looking like a certain someone on a particular night back in his world. Was it their vice captain? "Oh…? Is that why everyone seems to be whispering about me nowadays?"_

_Kiyone and Sentarou nodded, trying to act sagely. Then Kiyone suddenly produced a picture from somewhere in her robes and thrust it into Ichigo's face. On it was a snapshot of Shiba Kaien as he was joking with some of the division members. As he stared at the photograph, Ichigo couldn't help but agree that in some physical aspects, he did resemble the late shinigami…

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And that was how he had learnt about Kaien. But really, everything was getting ridiculous. He was getting very, very pissed with a good majority of the Sereitei occupants. So much so that he had actually contemplated screaming out that he _was not_ Shiba Kaien to the occupants of Sereitei. Of course, he hadn't done that because he had the feeling that it wouldn't do much of a difference. Not to mention that it'd be embarrassing as hell when the everyone had gotten over the initial shock.

"_Damn it! _This is really grating on my nerves!" Ichigo growled to himself as he lay back on the futon in the room he had been given. The day had been extremely bad for him. With all the constant whispers he was hearing, plus Zaraki Kenpachi's insistence on having a rematch… it was _not_ a good day at all. Though the thing that was really bugging him was the issue of Kaien; he could avoid Zaraki relatively easily enough now.

"_Do you think it doesn't bug me too huh, gaki?"_

"Wah!" Ichigo sat up immediately. Where in the world had that voice come from? He was sure he was alone in the room and that nobody had been inside when he had returned. He became instinctively on the alert, his hand reaching for Zangetsu.

_"Ch'. Look behind you, baka,"_ came the same voice.

Ichigo turned around, ready to attack with Zangetsu should he require to… and his jaw dropped open. _No way. There's **no** possible way that…_

_"Yo, Kurosaki Ichigo. Ch', close your mouth before your jaw dislodges permanently. I'm no doctor, okay."_

Ichigo ignored the advice and continued to gape before sputtering disbelievingly, "**Y-Y-YOU!** B-b-but aren't you… aren't you…" He couldn't bring himself to complete his sentence. If he voiced out what he was currently thinking, he'd really believe he had gone mad. Because Ichigo knew that there shouldn't be any logical reason for that person to be sitting before him at this moment. _I'm seeing things. I'm seeing things. That is just an apparition that formed because I'm irritated by **that** issue._

_"Dead? Yeah, I am. You're not seeing things though. So why am I here, is that what you want to ask? And just shut your mouth, will ya?"_

Ichigo snapped his mouth shut and then nodded in response to the question. He still couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

_"You've heard of the rumors flying around Sereitei, haven't you? Hence resulting in your agitation for the past few days. I can't say I don't feel the same, y'know. There's no way such a young boy can be compared to my awesomeness."_

Indignation blazed through Ichigo at the meaning of the last statement and he momentarily forgot about his confusion and the illogicalness of the appearance of the person before him. "Oi! Look here! I-"

_"Defeated vice captains and captains, attained bankai in merely three days and prevented Rukia's execution from succeeding. Yeah, yeah, I know that – **all** of it. I've been with you through the entire time after all."_

Ichigo stared at the 'apparition' some more. Surely he hadn't heard correctly. He hadn't!

Had he?

"_Masaka…_ I'm really your…_ reincarnation_?"

_"Atta boy! You've got it!"_ Kaien grinned cheerily at the orange-haired shinigami who still looked as if he had just been informed that a troupe of wild boars would be charging into his room in the next minute or so. Then Kaien's features became serious as he continued, _"However, Kurosaki Ichigo, that does not mean that you are me. You are yourself and yourself only. There will never be an exact replica of Shiba Kaien in the world now. I am dead; you are alive. I'm sure you know that difference pretty well."_

"But you're still here… I mean, I can see you and well, talk to you…"

_"There will always be a part of me remaining in your soul, and whoever was my previous incarnation and so on. This as you would've heard ol' Byakuya say on that rainy night. A resemblance in appearance can mean an identical soul… or something to that effect, I don't particularly remember. The most I'll affect you is in your appearance – as so many people have already pointed out – and a teeny bit in personality. But that's all. How you choose to live your life is entirely up to you. How you turn out eventually is based on your decisions. I can't dictate your actions even if I wanted to."_

Somehow, Ichigo felt it wasn't _that_ weird to be listening to the… spirit, soul or whatever Kaien was, of a dead person that was his past life. Well, other than Chad, Inoue and Ishida, everyone else around him was technically already dead, so it was a probably a given for him to be used to it. Furthermore, he had been in contact with ghosts since as far as he could remember. However, to talk to his past self wasn't something easy to deal with at the first instance, especially since he had been musing about said past self and everything that came along with him just moments earlier. But there was still something nagging at him…

"Why did you suddenly choose to appear?"

Kaien cast him an incredulous look. _"Oi, oi. You can't be **that** dense, right? Even though I must say that you could come right out and admit to at least yourself, if not to Rukia, that you're interested in her instead of-"_

"**_WHAT!_** HEY! DON'T AVOID MY QUESTION!"

Kaien chuckled as he saw the angry, embarrassed flush that had risen up on the teenager's face at his not-so-nonchalantly spoken comment._ "Oh relax. Ch', you really can't take even a **little** teasing, can you? Besides, you already know the answer to your question. I just didn't like the idea of people comparing us and decided to voice it out. There wasn't a need to appear before this, and you wouldn't have believed who I was if not for these rumors anyway."_

That sounded perfectly logical to Ichigo and he merely nodded to show his understanding. Because, had Kaien appeared before he had met Rukia or even before he had heard these rumors, he would've thought he had gone nuts. Which was quite inconceivable because he was perfectly sane and, despite everything that he had been through, had not lost such a large amount of brain cells that it would lead to any form of brain damage. Thank you very much.

_"But anyway, Ichigo, you seriously need to consider how to express your thoughts and feelings to the female half of the world. No, **don't** interrupt me. Honestly, I'm sick of listening to your internal conflicts over Rukia and I'm tired of seeing Orihime-san chase after you with some lingering hope in her heart while you remain ever the dense one. If it were permitted, I'd ask my wife to talk to Orihime-san-"_

"Your WIFE!"

Kaien cast an irritated look at Ichigo._ "Don't you know that it's very rude to interrupt someone? Especially more so after I've told you to no interrupt me? But yes, my wife. Do you have a problem with that?"_

"But… Inoue… your wife… how?"

_"Orihime-san is my wife's reincarnation. That's how."_

"Oh."

_"Simply put, I just hope you'll make up your mind on whether or not you like Rukia. And I hope you won't decide to live in denial; it's not pretty. When you've decided, make your move already. If not, other people might just stake their claim over her. I've seen Abarai and Rukia's relationship with each other long before you were born. He cares for her as much as you d-"_

"Wait a minute. Look. I didn't ask you to appear at all. While I appreciate that it cleared things up a bit, I don't need advice on anything else. So thank you very much, but I think its time you left Kaien-san," Ichigo managed civilly.

_"How you wound me, Ichigo. I've more experience than you in so many areas of life! And here you are, just swatting me away after you've gotten what you think you needed! Oh the **atrociousness** of the youngsters of these days!"_

"AND YOU CAN STOP ACTING LIKE A DRAMA QUEEN!" Ichigo was on his tethers of restraint. He was _just_ itching to grab Zangetsu and lunge for the figure sitting leisurely there. While he had the feeling that it wouldn't do the spirit any damage, there was no harm in finding out.

"Uh… Ichigo-san, is everything all right in there?" came a small timid voice from outside of his room. It sounded much like Hanatarou.

Cursing his luck in his head (to which Kaien guffawed), Ichigo replied, "Hanatarou? Yeah, everything's fine. Just don't bother me for… the next hour or so. Okay?"

"Ah… okay Ichigo-san."

There were sounds of footsteps moving further away from the sliding door before they completely faded away. Turning away from the door, Ichigo faced his dratted former incarnation and glared. However, Kaien continued to guffaw loudly, not bothering to hide his amusement at all.

"Is it really that amusing, huh?" Ichigo growled.

_"Very. But I suppose I've flustered you enough, haven't I? I'll leave now… on one condition."_

"What… is it?" Something told him to be wary… but as long as it wasn't too outrageous, he'd be likely to agree to it.

_"Aw, don't look so suspicious. It's really quite easy compared to everything you've been through. All I want you to promise me is that you'll seriously consider letting Rukia know how you feel. If you do, I won't bother you again."_

"You want me to **WHAT!**"

_"Not so loud, Ichigo… unless you want people to think that you've gone crazy talking to yourself. But hey, that's so simple already. I'm just asking you to consider. I'm not forcing you to tell her."_

To consider telling Rukia about how he felt would very soon equate to him really telling her. Shiba Kaien was one sly fellow. Ch'. However, Ichigo knew that if he didn't agree, Kaien would pester him non-stop and he didn't need a spirit on his case every single moment of his day. With some reluctance, he replied, "I… I'll sleep on it…"

If it was possible, the grin Kaien was already wearing widened further, threatening to split his face in half._ "Brilliant! Then when you've gotten her to go on a date and several more over the years… you'll probably have to face another challenge…"_

The grin turned into a disconcerting smirk. _"Convincing Kuchiki Byakuya to let you marry his younger sister. Mind you, that's more difficult than defeating him in battle. In fact, I think you might even feel the full wrath of-"_

Kaien ducked at the last moment to avoid Zangetsu.

_"Senbonzakura, if something goes wrong. All the best then Ichigo! Hopefully, I won't have to see you again soon although it's been a pleasure talking to you, nah?"_

With that, the spirit disappeared, leaving a fuming Ichigo who was fervently telling himself that the redness of his face was due to anger and not embarrassment.

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_"Kaien! You shouldn't have teased the poor boy so much."_

_"I was just giving him a hint. You know how generous I am, dear."_

_"Oh really? I doubt that, you know."_

_"… You know me too well."_

_"Of course. I'm not your wife for nothing."_

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**I hope you all enjoyed this! I certainly had fun writing it! Was actually cracking up writing some parts, especially when I got to the sections where Kaien was playing love advisor to Ichigo. I love to fluster Ichigo! For the part in which Orihime is said to be Kaien's wife's reincarnation... that's just to make the story flow. Because, despite what some people say, I don't think Orihime and the anime version of Kaien's wife really look very alike.**

**_carzla_**


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